A brief extract:
is the number one problem, not because he is a monster, but because he
eats cookies (encourages obesity), and when his addiction takes a
special stranglehold, the plate (might hurt). His alter ego, Alistair
Cookie, used to smoke a pipe before eating it, which, Sesame Street
producer Carol-Lynn Parente explained to the New York Times, "modelled
the wrong behaviour", and so Alistair was, tragically, dropped, and he
now probably munches down on pipes in bitterness in illegal pipe dens.
I may need a category called something like "what is the world coming to?"