My friend’s partner’s family has obviously realized that excluding her from the hospital room while S. was dying was wrong. They mentioned her as a long time friend (sorry, I don’t have the exact wording) in the obituary. They have asked her to be part of the receiving line at the funeral tomorrow. They have invited her to the private (family) interment at the cemetery on Thursday.

Some of her other friends still think it is too late and what they did last week was unforgivable. I’m not very good at this church thing but it seems to me that forgiveness is one of the most important things Jesus preached. Also one of the most difficult to do. So I’m thinking that it is best to see this in a positive light.

My friend is very sad. She started to cry before church today and then apologized saying she thought she’d finished with the tears. I figure 30 years gets a lot more than a week of tears. I’m going to try to get over to see her and bring fresh lettuce from the garden and some homebaked bread. We all need to eat. And it is the hardest thing to organize in grief.


7 thoughts on “update

  1. Food is so important in grief. People brought us tons of food these last weeks and we ate it all and felt nourished and supported by the people who provided it.

    And yes 30 years means a lot of tears.


  2. And to remember that people’s actions in extremis are not always their best, and the later thoughht-out response may better represent the family as a whole’s feelings about your friend and her importance to their sister/aunt/child/whoever. Goingg to see her is the most important thing, but new grown lettuces will I’m sure add to that.


  3. I hope that your friend finds peace in her heart. It will take much time to heal. It’s good that you and others are helping her through what must be an awful time.


  4. I hope she can forgive them too. Apparently they grew as a result of their idiocy and that’s better than nothing.Sorry for your friend’s loss.

    Haven’t sent you an email but thanks for the pattern! I’m psyched.


  5. I think you’re right. Life is much more bearable with a positive light.

    And sometimes in grief you don’t realize you’re hungry.


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